Day One-Hundred-Thirty-Eight, Petrification

The sky was black for most of the day. It did at intervals rain. Hard. And there was plenty of thunder and no doubt some lightning too. But it did not bother me, not at all. I had never l left my motel.

I meant to, certainly. I packed up all of my gear. But I just couldn't find the energy to carry it all downstairs. Let alone some miles down the road. I'm sure it's a moral failing. I was not any sorer than I am most days. I was only a little more sleepy. The idea of walking didn't sound so bad. I just could not seem to get moving.

This sort of inaction too often defines me. I've been twenty-five years in this slump. In fact it is easier out on the road. At least I know where I'm going. In a general sense, step by step. Life is rarely this easy.

But still gravity gets the better of me. And so I was glad for the rain. It made me feel awfully clever for deciding to stay indoors. Or less guilty, at any rate. I had not known it was coming. But I would have gotten awfully soggy if I were a better man.

Of course it may rain tomorrow as well. It is meant to be rather cold. In the next three days temperatures will be down in the thirties again. Which should be enough to get me moving, but the thought of it just makes me sleepy. Threat and fear don't motivate me. I respond better to flattery.

There was a rumor abroad this afternoon that I would be on TV. I figured I owed it to my lonesome blog but beyond that I couldn't see why. I don't see anything particularly heroic about walking across the country. Running, sure, or if I had some kind of hook, a cause or a wooden leg. Just walking for the hell of it seems irresponsible.

Of course I can be glib and charming. I'm a natural for local news. But there was a wreck or a scandal or something, some mishap in a corn maze. They figured out how to fill twenty-two minutes without resorting to me. And though fame appeals, I'm glad of it. I am camera shy.

I don't know that my day off did me much good. I am feeling lazier than ever. And plenty sleepy. It's now one o'clock and I am not yet in bed. I need someone to take care of me. I can't look after myself.

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