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I bought my last pair of shoes today. It's a bittersweet milestone. Most milestones are. I cannot think of one that did not make me want to cry.
Lord knows I dislike shopping for shoes. That's the masculine side of my nature. It means I can let myself get weepy without being at all ashamed. And I dislike spending money. That's because I'm poor. I've never been what you'd call frugal. But you should see what they are charging for shoes these days. Those Chinese orphans do not work cheap.
If I'm sad it's because I'm at the end of my road. Or will be too soon enough. This last pair of shoes are all I need for the next few hundred miles. And then what? Hell, I don't know. I'm prepared for anticlimax. They say it's the journey, not the destination. They don't say how sad that is.
Or just how counterintuitive. There are goals worth reaching. But this walk is all in the doing. At the end there is nothing for me. I walk, I stop; I walk, I stop. I reach the sea and I walk no more. And I'll lose something. I can't even say what. I just know I'm going to miss it.
I lied. I know exactly what I'm going to miss. I'm going to miss this sense of purpose. Rarely are our goals so clearly defined. They are never this easy to reach. All I've had to do is keep walking. There has been no pressure on me. And for the first time in my life I've known just who I am, the man who is Walking Across America.
Take that away and you are left with just James. He is an interesting character. But he's hard to understand and he's harder to take. He has no idea where he's going.
I slept well enough despite the cold. I had some trouble falling asleep. I've kept well hidden but insomnia has finally found me in my tent.
Bring it on, I say. I'm not afraid. I'll add it to my list of complaints. The day will come when they cancel each other out. On that day I'll be dead. Until then I would just as soon keep my eyes open. There are a lot of things I want to see.
I'm doing my best to enjoy myself. It really isn't that hard. And I do have a few more miles to go. Gatory miles at that. So I'll smell the flowers. I'll enjoy the pain. I'll dig into extra big breakfasts. I'll tip my hat to all the ladies and wave at passing trucks. I'll fall in love a few more times. I'll let beagles break my heart. I'll let myself become inspired. I'll believe my own bullshit.
I never did see much of Ocala. There's a town in there somewhere. Founded almost two-hundred years ago. There are a number of beautiful homes. But all I saw was metroplex, a kind of suburban sprawl. After spending most of my day shoe shopping it was all I could do to get out.
I took off down and around the city. It goes on for miles. Then it was miles more of horse farms. Even the rural districts are developed. I was starting to worry about where I might camp. Ten miles south it was dark. And every patch of land had a house or a fence or a No Trespassing sign.
Until I rounded a corner and saw my chance. You should have seen me. You would have been proud. Months of experience were at work here. I found the perfect spot. Amongst acres of trees with just one way in. I did not even hesitate. I knew it at a glance and shot right in. It's a beautiful place for my tent.
Especially on this, another cold night. I like to be well settled in. Here I can rest. I can even sleep in. Between you and me I just might.
I PASSED near the mall a troop of skateboarding youth. They were lounging around looking bored. And making snide remarks at passersby, and generally looking for trouble. But for me they had only nods of respect. I could see they wanted my approval. I don't know if it was because they were scared of me, or because they thought I was cool. Neither possibility would wholly displease me, but in the end, I'd rather be cool.
I MET a cowardly German shepherd. He must have weighed a hundred pounds. He barked at me and I barked back. His tail went down and he fled. Probably peed himself. Poor puppy.
I BOUGHT the exact same shoes I had before, but these cost twice as much. Poop.
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